I Think I Lost My Materialism and I Want it Back

Being unemployed for 10 months has made it incredibly hard for me to come up with items for a holiday wishlist! Not to sound like a total white chick with dreadlocks who eats soy cheese, but it's kinda because I've realized that without a context, so much is meaningless. I guess that's kind of good, right? But also a pain in the ass.

I had a moment in Target the other day when I found a sweater I liked, and a pair of sweatpants I liked, and I bought the pants with the reasoning that I would wear them more often. When I got home I thought about the old me who bought a hot mini dress every Friday night to go to the club and dance in and get my picture taken and show off to everyone and I cried a little bit about suddenly being uncool. Shortly after, I realized what has happened to me is really more enlightenment - the value I place on everything has shifted. I used to know that "THINGS can't make you happy" because, like, Uncle Jesse said it on Full House and every other douche in 10,000 other shows and movies and books said it all the time forever, but now I feel like I seriously KNOW it. Everything I pick up and think "I want this" my next thought is "Why do I want this? What will it add to my life? How will I use it?" after which point I end up putting most things back down.

This "enlightenment" has brought on other problems, however. When you go to get dressed and you look at your closet thinking "What should I wear?" and that question is now followed by "Who am I?" and "What does 'me' wear?" it takes a really fucking long time to get dressed.

The point I'm getting at is, you should give me pot for Christmas.

Food Phones Are Awesome

I would like to have a land line just so I can have this phone. But since I can't, I think this would do:

Paco is Growing

...but still isn't using his litter box. (eww)

A Few Questions

Has MySpace made high school reunions obsolete?
I mean, the only reason people go is to show everyone they aren't fat and poor. And if you can see that on the internet already, then why pay $50 a plate in some function room at the Holiday Inn just to have awkward conversations with the people fate happened to seat next to you in algebra?
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Why do I keep catching my cats eating the dog's food?
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Would everyone be embarrassed if a public list of all their online stalker activities were made available, or is it just me?
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Would it be considered assault if I ran around the city slapping wax on ladies with mustaches and then ripping it off? Like what exactly would be written on my police record?
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Why is acai juice so expensive? Monavie is like $45 a bottle! But it's good.

Newborn Kitten!

Max found this little guy in the alley last night. He was just born yesterday and abandoned by his mom. The vet said he's healthy so we have him at home in a box on a heating pad and are feeding him kitten formula in a tiny kitten-sized bottle. He is the size of your palm and squeaks like a mouse. He has no name yet.

We are going to take care of him until we find him a nice home with someone (one of our friends we hope) who will let us come visit and play with him! So if that is you, let us know! Otherwise we may need to move to a large farm. Here are more photos:

Sleeping...

We thought he was a rat at first!

This is all he does besides sleep.
Kitten formula yum!

The Dog House

Boston Craigslist apartment listings today (2 bedroom, $1550 or below): 5978
Amount of those apartments allowing cats: 2199
Amount of those apartments allowing dogs: 1014

When you consider how much more likely an elderly person, a baby or a drug addict is to shit on the carpet or scratch up the walls, it doesn't quite seem fair.

I would love to see a listing: "Please, no babies."

An Empty Parachute

Is a broken tampon machine in the ladies room.